To Honor

Lately I’ve been thinking about the role of a mother and father in the home.  When God commanded us to honor our father and mother, what did that really mean?  I wasn’t sure what it meant to honor, so as I looked in the dictionary it talked about having reverence or respect for someone, even giving them some authority in your life.  Almost instantly the thought came to my mind that there were definitely things I respected in my father and mother.  I respected and honored the faith of my father.  He would do whatever God told him to do and it didn’t matter how hard it was going to be.  He just said okay if that’s what you want me to do, I’ll do it.  I respected my mother for always standing by my Dad’s side and believing in him, whatever the goal or dream was he was pursuing.  She had a lot of faith that God was directing them together as a couple.  I truly honored them for those attributes. 

I then thought of Jesus Christ and what it means to honor him.  I respect and reverence Him for the attributes He possess.  He was selfless, willing, compassionate, merciful, submissive, aware of others, loving and the list goes on.  I place Him as an authority in my life because of the life He led.  He is someone that is worth honoring and giving reverence towards because of who He was.  

As I have pondered upon these thoughts of honoring and reverencing my father and mother and the Savior I realized something very important.  There were other things I didn’t respect about my parents, which doesn’t mean they were bad.  I just needed something different in my life.  I may have needed to see love in a different way or to have felt compassion in a more personal manner.  I know though that my parents were trying their best and doing what God told them to do.  It didn’t mean they were going to be perfect. It just meant they were truly trying and I have an opportunity to learn from them. 

As a mother with small children I get the opportunity every day to work on those attributes that help my children find in me the things they can respect.  Just like I found those in my parents and Jesus Christ.  I realized what I honored about my parents was the positive attributes they were demonstrating in their daily actions and attributes they were trying to develop.  Being a parent isn’t easy, but it is possible to teach our children to honor their father and mother.  We look at the attributes that we honor and respect then try to emulate them in our own lives. 

This week as I’ve been pondering on this thought, I’ve written down attributes that I admire and took a minute to look inward to see where I can improve.  I’ve asked myself how I can acquire that attribute and give my children something to honor in me.  I have had distinct impression on what I can do better to not only help me, but my children as well.  Learning to honor our father and mother will go a long ways in helping our society develop attributes that help and contribute instead of taking away and diminishing the amazing blessings we are given. 

So, today or in the next few days.  Take a few minutes and ask yourself some personal questions.  See how you can improve and be grateful for the areas where you are doing a good job.  Each of you are worth the time it takes to improve and change whether you are a parent now, your children are already gone or you aren’t yet married.  Strive to be the best you and develop those attributes within you that are worth being honored for. You are amazing and worth it!

            

What codes am I receiving?

        Over the last couple weeks I have done a lot of driving to visit family and friends in Utah and Wyoming.  On the first day of my trip my car kept giving me the code "Transmission Hot".  It was freaking me out a bit since it was just me and the kids.  Well, over the weekend I went to this class and Meg Johnson spoke. (Look her story up and all she does, it's amazing.)  One of the things she said we should ask ourselves when we are going through a trial, struggle, challenge, or anything difficult is "What can  I learn from this ... (whatever it is)?"

        So the other night I was driving my car and asked Heavenly Father what was I suppose to learn from this car problem.  Immediately a thought came to my mind that I'm like the transmission.  The code had come up on my car from driving and pushing my car all day.  I realized that Heavenly Father was right.  I push and push myself and sometimes forget to stop and take care of the problems that are showing up in my life.  As I drove I would pull over when the code would come up, and I would be super worried about it.  Then the code would turn off and I would start driving again.  A ways down the road the code would pop up again.  I'd pull over or slow down until it turned off.  Finally it stopped showing up so frequently and I stopped worrying about it so much.

        It's the same way with our own lives.  We have situations that come up that let us know we are having a problem.  We then focus on the problem for a little bit until it seems like everything is okay. Then it may be the next day or week later and we are triggered again.  I realized with me that most of the time I focus on the problem enough to put the band-aid on and move forward.  I bury the problem because I really don't have the time to fix what is really going on.  So, for two weeks now I've been having this struggle with my car and I keep putting the band-aid on instead of fixing it.

        When a problem comes up in our cars it means something is going wrong.  Our car is trying to get our attention focused on something specific so we can give it the attention it needs and fix it.  How often in our own lives do problems come up and we get upset or frustrated instead of looking at the opportunity we are being given to fix a challenge in our life?  I don't want to run like a hot transmission that is constantly pushed to it's max and seems to never get a relief.  I want to run like a well oiled machine because I take care of the challenges, trials and other difficulties that come up in my life when they happen, not when I finally explode or over heat.

         As we work on looking at the things we can learn and what is triggering those situations that may keep being presented in our lives, lets deal with them and be healed!  Lets run more smoothly and efficiently as we work on becoming!  So, ask yourself, "What is the code I'm receiving?  What can I learn from it?  What can I adjust in my life so my 'transmission' (my body, mind, and soul) runs smoothly?

Words of Yesterday, Guide us Through Today

I read a talk a couple months ago that mentioned pancake people.  Pancake people are people who know a little bit about a lot of things.  They have so many things they are doing that they struggle to have depth to them.  They are like a thin pancake that runs all over the griddle instead of keeping it's structure.  The good thing about a pancake that is runny is that it can be thickened.  It just needs a little bit more thickening to get depth and structure.

As I have been thinking about this, I keep thinking where do I go from here.  I feel like I have been making progress but now it's the point where there is more than one area that really needs working on.  Where do I begin?  What thing about myself and my thought patterns do I work on changing first?  What is going to propel me forward in the direction I'm suppose to go?  As I debated over these questions in my mind I knew the source where I could find answers.  I knew that if I prayed I would receive help.  God wants me to move forward and will help me go the direction He needs my life to go.  As I prayed I was reminded of an experience I had before.  It was an experience I had written down so I remembered it very well.  I knew what I needed to do.  The thing I wanted to share isn't about what I needed to do to change personally, but about how I remembered what I needed to do to.

As I have struggled with self-worth, purpose and trying to figure out who I needed to become I have kept a very good journal.  I write my thoughts, feelings, and impressions that come.  I have done this for years because my journal was my outlet.  I could write and it was for me.  I could write what I was struggling with and not feel judged.  I could write about the great days and the bad days.  I wrote what I was learning and  understanding on this journey I'm on to become the best version of myself.  I was able to see my progress because I had kept track of it.

So, as we are trying to move forward journals allow us to look back at where we have been and to see the things we have learned.  It helps us see how far we have come and how we incorporated the inspiration we received into our new belief system about ourselves.  We are each capable of receiving insights into ways we can improve and we are also able to see and feel the good things we are doing.  I know God wants to guide us.  A quote by Elder James E. Faust that stands out to me every time I receive inspiration is, "Revelations recorded is revelation received."  If we are writing down the things we are receiving we will continue to be guided.  As we write down the inspiration and thoughts that come we will be able to look back on those words for guidance in the future.

Just like today I remembered what I needed to do because I wrote it down in my journal.  Try it out.  If you already keep a journal, read back through it.  You'll be surprised by how much you have grown and all the amazing insights you have received.  If you don't keep a journal go get one.  I use the composition books all the time and I love them!   If it sounds too hard just give it a try because it will change your life.  I know it has mine and I love going back and reading through what I have learned.  It lets me see that I am moving forward even if at times it has been slower than I wanted, it's still forward.  I'm excited for the experiences you have with your journals and the things it will teach you about yourself. Good Luck!

Heal the Past, to Move Forward

Every time I try to progress forward in my journey to becoming better it seems that I get snagged by a false belief, experience or it becomes painful to change.  I've realized that if I want to move forward I need to work on healing from the things that have happened in my life.  Maybe I haven't allowed myself to really grieve the loss of something or someone important in my life.  Maybe I haven't forgiven myself or others for choices that have been made or things that have been said.  I just know that if I want to move forward I need to work through those things so the hurt is in the past and I can move forward having remembered what I learned instead of dwelling on the past.  

Thinking about healing has made me think of my post from last week about the Savior and the lasting relief He offers us.  Going back to the stick analogy I would want it removed immediately so I could begin the healing process even though I know it will probably hurt worse getting it removed than the actual event that caused it.  On a smaller scale, it seems that every time I get a sliver the sliver doesn't hurt as bad once I have it, but it really starts hurting once I get it removed.  The skin around the wound has been agitated and now my body knows it needs to work on healing a certain part of my body.  Those first couple days are rough.  The area is sore and tender.  

It is the same way with the things we are trying to change in our own lives.  We each have our own slivers that may have caused pain initially but then maybe we didn't want to deal with it, so it has now become a part of us.  It doesn't cause us constant pain like it use to, but every once in a while something touches it and it hurts.  These feelings, experiences, or challenges are tough to deal with and maybe we don't want to or know how to get rid of these 'slivers' in our lives.  I understand this because I have been through it.  It's scary to know that changing may hurt and we don't know how long the hurt lasts for.  It is possible to change and heal completely though.  

Yes, it takes time and it is often challenging as we learn how to heal.  We all have watched or seen a scratch or cut heal.  It takes a little bit of time, but eventually you forget you had ever had a scratch or cut.  When you take care of it to start with by applying healing ointment it heals quicker.  Just like the healing ointment, Christ is the healing balm in our lives  When we allow ourselves the time to heal and go to Jesus Christ for His help we find lasting relief and healing .  We must turn to Him for His help in healing so that we can become the best we can be.   I hope I can remember, that to move forward I need to heal my past through Christ's help and by healing it will propel me forward.  What are you going to do to allow yourself to heal, so you can truly progress on your journey? 

The Source of Our Relief

Heavenly Father is really good about teaching me important lessons attached to experiences that I will remember.  Like, the other day I had an awful migraine and I had tried tylenol and lots of water, but nothing was working.  I remembered that I had this pouch with a bunch of vitamins and caffeine in it that I figured would help.  I took that pouch with some water and within minutes my head was feeling better.  I started doing all the things I needed to do with making dinner and cleaning up the house.  For the next hour or two I felt really good, then it started in my stomach.  I started feeling really sick and nauseous.  All night my stomach hurt and then my headache started coming back.  It lasted through the next day.  

I was way over feeling sick when I decided I better write a letter to Heavenly Father and in my journal before going to bed.  It was in that quite moment he taught me how much He is aware of us.  I learned that me taking caffeine was a temporary fix for my headache because it came back.  Also, that there are many things like that all around us that are only temporary fixes.  Satan is the one that leads people to believe in temporary fixes because of the lure of feeling a more immediate relief.  When I'm feeling depressed or lonely, sometimes I sit on my bed and watch a show.  While I'm watching the show I feel relief from my own emotions, but when it is over the emotions come back with a greater intensity.  I know I haven't dealt with what is really going on and have just put a bandage on the problem.  

A visual comes to mind, that instead of pulling the piece of wood out that is sticking out of my leg I put a bandage on it hoping that will make it feel better.  I'm looking for a bandage instead of someone to pull the piece of wood out.  If I just keep putting a bandage on then the cut is going to get infected and it's going to start affecting other parts of my life.  I'll be more prone to other injuries and sickness.  Pretty soon I'll lose that leg, but if I get someone who is qualified to pull it out I will heal.  My leg will heal up and the only mark after some time will be a scar from where it was in my leg. 

How often do we look at the trials and struggles in our lives and search for a quick fix?  There are people that turn to all sorts of 'fixes' such as alcohol, food, exercise, eating disorders, pornography, mentally stepping out, Facebook, games on our phones, and other things to find relief.  We know those things don't fix the trial or whatever is going on, but it does allow for temporary relief.  So, why settle for temporary relief when there is true lasting relief that can be permanent?  Our Savior, Jesus Christ offers the permeant relief we all want.  I wouldn't want to keep a big piece of wood in my leg forever with a bandage, even though I know I often do.  I'm just thankful for the reminder from my Heavenly Father that taught me those 'pieces of wood' can be healed and removed permanently by our Savior, Jesus Christ.

So, the next time when you are feeling terrible, life is out of control, or whatever the struggle may be think about the source you are turning to for relief.  I know that understanding this and being able to see this visual has changed how I look at it.  I hope to be better in the future and learn how to turn to my Savior for relief all the time. 

A New Day

I've been having the hardest time writing my thoughts down because I felt that once I had shared my thoughts I had to be different somehow.  It was like I had to live up to someone else's expectation of me and where I was headed.  I finally had some clarity though.  I'm not writing my thoughts on a blog because someone told me I should.  I'm writing my thought down because I felt that God wanted me to.  He is the one that knows what I need to write and share.  He is the one that knows where I am going and who I can become.  When I listen to what He tells me, then it's easier to think and feel truth.  I feel peace and have understanding.  When I listen to what I think others want me to say or how they want me to interpret certain situations I get confused.  I don't like being confused.  I like having that sense of clarity that lets you see how things are working together.  I like having purpose and direction which I'm sure is what many of us are searching for.

So, today is a new day.  A day for me to listen to what God wants for me.  He is the one that is teaching me how to be the best version of myself.  He will use people along the way to help lift and encourage me, but ultimately it is through His guiding hand.  When I do things the way He guides me to I'm a better person.  Of course, I'm also stubborn so I kick against what He says and continually find myself back in a confused state wondering why I didn't listen to Him as He was guiding my life.  I don't want to keep experiencing this up and down and twirl around motion.  I want to move upward and forward.  Hopefully I'll be able to give you the real version of me that struggles, triumphs, progresses and is guided because I know those things are what help us on our journey of becoming who we need to become.

The Tortoise and the Hare

Do you ever feel like you get burnt out?  I have felt that often throughout my life.  I push myself too hard and then I lake the motivation to keep going at the same pace.  When I do something I don't like to give 50% or less than 100%.  I like to give it everything I've got until I'm completely exhausted.  That's what happened over this last weekend.

We have tree stumps, weeds, and clumps of dirt all over our yard.  When one says yard I think nice grass you can play in.  Our yard was the opposite of that.  It was a trap for all sorts of entanglements with the gopher holes, the torn down fences, and the piles of weeds.  So, we decided that over the next few weeks we were going to rip all the junk out and get rid of it, till the dirt and get some grass planted.  I started Friday and loaded the trailer with the branches and tree stumps from the yard.  Then I ripped out a fence and raked all the weeds together.  Then I took a the load of wood and dumped it at my in-laws, just so I could get back and burn all the weeds before my husband came home.  I got it done, but I was exhausted.  I knew we still had another couple of hours worth of work left with a little tractor and getting the tree stumps out.  We worked until dark and the next day we finished off that project at our house and went to my in-laws to take out their tree stumps.  I fell into bed Saturday night exhausted.  My body ached but felt good from the physical labor.  Monday came and I attacked the yard again with the tiller going full steam ahead.  By Wednesday my body was so tired and sore I didn't want to do anything. 

I felt it hit.  I didn't want to keep up with my projects.  I didn't think I could keep up this maniac pace of going and going.  I knew from the cycle I was seeing that I was going to crash.  I prayed to ask for help to be able to keep going and I had the gentle reminder come to mind of the story, "The Tortoise and the Hare".  I instantly knew, I was the hare.  The hare in the story just wants to win so he sprints from the get go.  Then he gets so far ahead he lays down to rest.  When he wakes up the tortoise has passed him, so he sprints off to pass the tortoise once again.  Once he is far ahead and quite tired from sprinting he lays down to take a rest.  This happens throughout the story.  The racing to get ahead, then the resting from being tired and thinking he can take a break. The tortoise ends up winning because he was slow, steady, and consistent.  He kept up a sustainable pace.  What I have been doing throughout my life is being like the hare.  I want to do it right now and I want it to be great, so I sprint.  Then I get burnt out and decide to take a rest.  Then it's weeks sometimes before I get back up to sprint again on the projects I have.  This may seem crazy to do the back and forth thing, but I know there are probably times in everyone's lives when they have this experience.  

I'm hoping that I can learn the importance of being steady and consistently doing things every day which will help me win the race.  There is a scripture I love that says, "By small and simple things are great thing brought to pass."  Small things are things we can consistently do every day that make the great things happen in our lives.  Praying is something simple to do but do we do it consistently?  Are we expressing gratitude every day?  It's a really small thing to do, but when you do it the whole world seems so much brighter.  Then you look at the other things in our lives that we do consistently that aren't helping us move forward.  I'm sure that everyone has something like this in their life.  I know I have things I do that aren't helping me and things that are.  I know I'm much happier when I'm doing the small and simple actions that are bringing great blessings and changes into my life.  When I make my baby giggle and we laugh together, there is nothing sweeter.  When I consistently pray with my kids they learn who to turn to.  When I sit and play on my phone, then that's what they want to do too.  I'm the role model for my children and the one who gets to teach them how to learn consistency through small and simple things.  I'm grateful for stories that teach me the lessons of life and how I can change to become someone better on my journey.