Taking Time for You

For the last couple weeks, I have walked through my kitchen, cooked and cleaned in my kitchen and only gotten stuck a few times to the floor.  Yes, my floor has been gross and dirty.  I wouldn’t notice it every time I walked on it, just certain times when I would step in something sticky.  I would think to myself I really need to clean my floor, but I don’t have time right now.  I’ll do it later or I’ll clean it tomorrow.  I just knew how dirty it was and was sure it was going to take forever to get it clean.  Now this has been going on for weeks and finally I decided enough is enough, I am cleaning this floor today.

So, I got my water and vinegar mixture ready to clean my floors and I got on my hands and knees.  As I started scrubbing in the far corner it wasn’t too bad, then I got to the areas that have the most traffic like underneath the kitchen chairs and table.  Wow, it was bad.  I had to wash my rag out every two boards.  Each new spot I cleaned made this idea I was having in my mind become clearer and clearer until I realized that Heavenly Father wanted me to learn something from what some would call a mundane task around the home.  As this thought was coming to my mind I become really excited about cleaning my floor and getting it as clean as possible as quickly as I could.

The idea was this, that we are like a floor.  We start out clean and over time we make mistakes, we have challenges, emotions get trapped down inside of us and all of this “personal baggage” piles on.  Our floors get dirty, a spill is made here and there and sometimes you are in the middle of something else and you forget it happened, so you don’t clean it up.  Many times in our own lives things happen that we don’t fully process.  I think when my Dad died I didn’t fully process what was happening to me emotionally or what I was burying down inside of me.  Now a few years later I can look back and see the different areas of my life that were what you could call “sticky” or showing signs that I needed to pay attention and clean some stuff out of me.

When I finally finished cleaning the floor I kept thinking about how much easier that would have been if I would have taken care of the spills when they happened or even did a regular weekly maintenance of wiping my kitchen floor down.  Then the epiphany came.  What if we did that for ourselves?  What if we took better care of ourselves emotionally when things happened?   I began to think of ways that I could maintain a healthier emotional state by getting out the stuck emotions if I had the right tools and by paying attention to my personal warning signs that I needed to work on me.

I know sometimes the thought of working on ourselves and changing can be overwhelming and also a bit scary.  I know before I use to think what if I do this and it doesn’t work.  What if I don’t have enough time to spend to really fix the problem.  Don’t let little fears get in the way of working on cleaning up you.  I have been trying to clean me up just like I did my floor for a long time.  Sometimes I’m not as diligent about it, then I have a power purge day where I have to take a couple hours to clean my floor or some intense couple days trying to figure out why I stopped making the progress I want to.  These are hard and what would be way more effective would be if the cleaning up and clearing out was done day by day and not every couple months.  

I think Heavenly Father is amazing and that it’s awesome that He will teach us simple lessons while we are doing tasks that we routinely do, just like He taught me while I was cleaning my kitchen floor and it was very simple.  He showed me very clearly the importance of taking time daily to pay attention to the simple things happening in my life and how are they affecting me.  If I’m feeling agitated then work on it.  Journal about it and figure it out.  If I’m feeling stuck then write a letter to God and let Him speak back to me.  If I feel sad I try to figure out the source by praying and writing out what’s going on.  As I do this my emotional state is healthier and happier.  I’m not full of the gunk because I’ve been working on clearing it out, cleaning it up, and trying to understand better what I’m going through.  Keeping ourselves “clean” takes a consistent effort and when we do it we are happy and so are the people around us because they don’t get stuck in our personal gunk or the spot on the floor!    

To Honor

Lately I’ve been thinking about the role of a mother and father in the home.  When God commanded us to honor our father and mother, what did that really mean?  I wasn’t sure what it meant to honor, so as I looked in the dictionary it talked about having reverence or respect for someone, even giving them some authority in your life.  Almost instantly the thought came to my mind that there were definitely things I respected in my father and mother.  I respected and honored the faith of my father.  He would do whatever God told him to do and it didn’t matter how hard it was going to be.  He just said okay if that’s what you want me to do, I’ll do it.  I respected my mother for always standing by my Dad’s side and believing in him, whatever the goal or dream was he was pursuing.  She had a lot of faith that God was directing them together as a couple.  I truly honored them for those attributes. 

I then thought of Jesus Christ and what it means to honor him.  I respect and reverence Him for the attributes He possess.  He was selfless, willing, compassionate, merciful, submissive, aware of others, loving and the list goes on.  I place Him as an authority in my life because of the life He led.  He is someone that is worth honoring and giving reverence towards because of who He was.  

As I have pondered upon these thoughts of honoring and reverencing my father and mother and the Savior I realized something very important.  There were other things I didn’t respect about my parents, which doesn’t mean they were bad.  I just needed something different in my life.  I may have needed to see love in a different way or to have felt compassion in a more personal manner.  I know though that my parents were trying their best and doing what God told them to do.  It didn’t mean they were going to be perfect. It just meant they were truly trying and I have an opportunity to learn from them. 

As a mother with small children I get the opportunity every day to work on those attributes that help my children find in me the things they can respect.  Just like I found those in my parents and Jesus Christ.  I realized what I honored about my parents was the positive attributes they were demonstrating in their daily actions and attributes they were trying to develop.  Being a parent isn’t easy, but it is possible to teach our children to honor their father and mother.  We look at the attributes that we honor and respect then try to emulate them in our own lives. 

This week as I’ve been pondering on this thought, I’ve written down attributes that I admire and took a minute to look inward to see where I can improve.  I’ve asked myself how I can acquire that attribute and give my children something to honor in me.  I have had distinct impression on what I can do better to not only help me, but my children as well.  Learning to honor our father and mother will go a long ways in helping our society develop attributes that help and contribute instead of taking away and diminishing the amazing blessings we are given. 

So, today or in the next few days.  Take a few minutes and ask yourself some personal questions.  See how you can improve and be grateful for the areas where you are doing a good job.  Each of you are worth the time it takes to improve and change whether you are a parent now, your children are already gone or you aren’t yet married.  Strive to be the best you and develop those attributes within you that are worth being honored for. You are amazing and worth it!

            

What codes am I receiving?

        Over the last couple weeks I have done a lot of driving to visit family and friends in Utah and Wyoming.  On the first day of my trip my car kept giving me the code "Transmission Hot".  It was freaking me out a bit since it was just me and the kids.  Well, over the weekend I went to this class and Meg Johnson spoke. (Look her story up and all she does, it's amazing.)  One of the things she said we should ask ourselves when we are going through a trial, struggle, challenge, or anything difficult is "What can  I learn from this ... (whatever it is)?"

        So the other night I was driving my car and asked Heavenly Father what was I suppose to learn from this car problem.  Immediately a thought came to my mind that I'm like the transmission.  The code had come up on my car from driving and pushing my car all day.  I realized that Heavenly Father was right.  I push and push myself and sometimes forget to stop and take care of the problems that are showing up in my life.  As I drove I would pull over when the code would come up, and I would be super worried about it.  Then the code would turn off and I would start driving again.  A ways down the road the code would pop up again.  I'd pull over or slow down until it turned off.  Finally it stopped showing up so frequently and I stopped worrying about it so much.

        It's the same way with our own lives.  We have situations that come up that let us know we are having a problem.  We then focus on the problem for a little bit until it seems like everything is okay. Then it may be the next day or week later and we are triggered again.  I realized with me that most of the time I focus on the problem enough to put the band-aid on and move forward.  I bury the problem because I really don't have the time to fix what is really going on.  So, for two weeks now I've been having this struggle with my car and I keep putting the band-aid on instead of fixing it.

        When a problem comes up in our cars it means something is going wrong.  Our car is trying to get our attention focused on something specific so we can give it the attention it needs and fix it.  How often in our own lives do problems come up and we get upset or frustrated instead of looking at the opportunity we are being given to fix a challenge in our life?  I don't want to run like a hot transmission that is constantly pushed to it's max and seems to never get a relief.  I want to run like a well oiled machine because I take care of the challenges, trials and other difficulties that come up in my life when they happen, not when I finally explode or over heat.

         As we work on looking at the things we can learn and what is triggering those situations that may keep being presented in our lives, lets deal with them and be healed!  Lets run more smoothly and efficiently as we work on becoming!  So, ask yourself, "What is the code I'm receiving?  What can I learn from it?  What can I adjust in my life so my 'transmission' (my body, mind, and soul) runs smoothly?

Words of Yesterday, Guide us Through Today

I read a talk a couple months ago that mentioned pancake people.  Pancake people are people who know a little bit about a lot of things.  They have so many things they are doing that they struggle to have depth to them.  They are like a thin pancake that runs all over the griddle instead of keeping it's structure.  The good thing about a pancake that is runny is that it can be thickened.  It just needs a little bit more thickening to get depth and structure.

As I have been thinking about this, I keep thinking where do I go from here.  I feel like I have been making progress but now it's the point where there is more than one area that really needs working on.  Where do I begin?  What thing about myself and my thought patterns do I work on changing first?  What is going to propel me forward in the direction I'm suppose to go?  As I debated over these questions in my mind I knew the source where I could find answers.  I knew that if I prayed I would receive help.  God wants me to move forward and will help me go the direction He needs my life to go.  As I prayed I was reminded of an experience I had before.  It was an experience I had written down so I remembered it very well.  I knew what I needed to do.  The thing I wanted to share isn't about what I needed to do to change personally, but about how I remembered what I needed to do to.

As I have struggled with self-worth, purpose and trying to figure out who I needed to become I have kept a very good journal.  I write my thoughts, feelings, and impressions that come.  I have done this for years because my journal was my outlet.  I could write and it was for me.  I could write what I was struggling with and not feel judged.  I could write about the great days and the bad days.  I wrote what I was learning and  understanding on this journey I'm on to become the best version of myself.  I was able to see my progress because I had kept track of it.

So, as we are trying to move forward journals allow us to look back at where we have been and to see the things we have learned.  It helps us see how far we have come and how we incorporated the inspiration we received into our new belief system about ourselves.  We are each capable of receiving insights into ways we can improve and we are also able to see and feel the good things we are doing.  I know God wants to guide us.  A quote by Elder James E. Faust that stands out to me every time I receive inspiration is, "Revelations recorded is revelation received."  If we are writing down the things we are receiving we will continue to be guided.  As we write down the inspiration and thoughts that come we will be able to look back on those words for guidance in the future.

Just like today I remembered what I needed to do because I wrote it down in my journal.  Try it out.  If you already keep a journal, read back through it.  You'll be surprised by how much you have grown and all the amazing insights you have received.  If you don't keep a journal go get one.  I use the composition books all the time and I love them!   If it sounds too hard just give it a try because it will change your life.  I know it has mine and I love going back and reading through what I have learned.  It lets me see that I am moving forward even if at times it has been slower than I wanted, it's still forward.  I'm excited for the experiences you have with your journals and the things it will teach you about yourself. Good Luck!

Heal the Past, to Move Forward

Every time I try to progress forward in my journey to becoming better it seems that I get snagged by a false belief, experience or it becomes painful to change.  I've realized that if I want to move forward I need to work on healing from the things that have happened in my life.  Maybe I haven't allowed myself to really grieve the loss of something or someone important in my life.  Maybe I haven't forgiven myself or others for choices that have been made or things that have been said.  I just know that if I want to move forward I need to work through those things so the hurt is in the past and I can move forward having remembered what I learned instead of dwelling on the past.  

Thinking about healing has made me think of my post from last week about the Savior and the lasting relief He offers us.  Going back to the stick analogy I would want it removed immediately so I could begin the healing process even though I know it will probably hurt worse getting it removed than the actual event that caused it.  On a smaller scale, it seems that every time I get a sliver the sliver doesn't hurt as bad once I have it, but it really starts hurting once I get it removed.  The skin around the wound has been agitated and now my body knows it needs to work on healing a certain part of my body.  Those first couple days are rough.  The area is sore and tender.  

It is the same way with the things we are trying to change in our own lives.  We each have our own slivers that may have caused pain initially but then maybe we didn't want to deal with it, so it has now become a part of us.  It doesn't cause us constant pain like it use to, but every once in a while something touches it and it hurts.  These feelings, experiences, or challenges are tough to deal with and maybe we don't want to or know how to get rid of these 'slivers' in our lives.  I understand this because I have been through it.  It's scary to know that changing may hurt and we don't know how long the hurt lasts for.  It is possible to change and heal completely though.  

Yes, it takes time and it is often challenging as we learn how to heal.  We all have watched or seen a scratch or cut heal.  It takes a little bit of time, but eventually you forget you had ever had a scratch or cut.  When you take care of it to start with by applying healing ointment it heals quicker.  Just like the healing ointment, Christ is the healing balm in our lives  When we allow ourselves the time to heal and go to Jesus Christ for His help we find lasting relief and healing .  We must turn to Him for His help in healing so that we can become the best we can be.   I hope I can remember, that to move forward I need to heal my past through Christ's help and by healing it will propel me forward.  What are you going to do to allow yourself to heal, so you can truly progress on your journey? 

The Source of Our Relief

Heavenly Father is really good about teaching me important lessons attached to experiences that I will remember.  Like, the other day I had an awful migraine and I had tried tylenol and lots of water, but nothing was working.  I remembered that I had this pouch with a bunch of vitamins and caffeine in it that I figured would help.  I took that pouch with some water and within minutes my head was feeling better.  I started doing all the things I needed to do with making dinner and cleaning up the house.  For the next hour or two I felt really good, then it started in my stomach.  I started feeling really sick and nauseous.  All night my stomach hurt and then my headache started coming back.  It lasted through the next day.  

I was way over feeling sick when I decided I better write a letter to Heavenly Father and in my journal before going to bed.  It was in that quite moment he taught me how much He is aware of us.  I learned that me taking caffeine was a temporary fix for my headache because it came back.  Also, that there are many things like that all around us that are only temporary fixes.  Satan is the one that leads people to believe in temporary fixes because of the lure of feeling a more immediate relief.  When I'm feeling depressed or lonely, sometimes I sit on my bed and watch a show.  While I'm watching the show I feel relief from my own emotions, but when it is over the emotions come back with a greater intensity.  I know I haven't dealt with what is really going on and have just put a bandage on the problem.  

A visual comes to mind, that instead of pulling the piece of wood out that is sticking out of my leg I put a bandage on it hoping that will make it feel better.  I'm looking for a bandage instead of someone to pull the piece of wood out.  If I just keep putting a bandage on then the cut is going to get infected and it's going to start affecting other parts of my life.  I'll be more prone to other injuries and sickness.  Pretty soon I'll lose that leg, but if I get someone who is qualified to pull it out I will heal.  My leg will heal up and the only mark after some time will be a scar from where it was in my leg. 

How often do we look at the trials and struggles in our lives and search for a quick fix?  There are people that turn to all sorts of 'fixes' such as alcohol, food, exercise, eating disorders, pornography, mentally stepping out, Facebook, games on our phones, and other things to find relief.  We know those things don't fix the trial or whatever is going on, but it does allow for temporary relief.  So, why settle for temporary relief when there is true lasting relief that can be permanent?  Our Savior, Jesus Christ offers the permeant relief we all want.  I wouldn't want to keep a big piece of wood in my leg forever with a bandage, even though I know I often do.  I'm just thankful for the reminder from my Heavenly Father that taught me those 'pieces of wood' can be healed and removed permanently by our Savior, Jesus Christ.

So, the next time when you are feeling terrible, life is out of control, or whatever the struggle may be think about the source you are turning to for relief.  I know that understanding this and being able to see this visual has changed how I look at it.  I hope to be better in the future and learn how to turn to my Savior for relief all the time.